so marks the end of my third major relationship. i am currently 26 and a half years old, and i feel significantly different during the ending of this one as opposed to the last two. i have become a different person since i met p - probably for the better. he brought out a lot of good in me, and i will forever cherish that about this relationship. it has taught me a number of things about myself. perhaps just growing up in general has taught me some things about myself. i am no longer the person who is crippled by the thought of being alone - who cannot detach from situations regardless of how toxic they are.
in theory we should have been great together. we both represented a lot that the other person wanted, but in the end it was our intrinsic differences that caused our love to die. in some very clear ways, we were two sides of the same coin. we shared a lot of things in common and i am thankful that i could meet someone who complimented me in so many ways. in other ways, we helped each other. i believe i helped him be a bit more easy going, and i supported him through his sadness. i made him laugh and gave him good conversations. i think i helped him be more open-minded, and perhaps a bit more open in general.
he helped me by showing me that i am capable of reaching my goals - that i am a strong woman who will not be broken down by what happened to me. he helped me to see the beauty in the quiet life at home, and how important it is for me to share certain qualities with another person. he showed me the value of trying to be a good person who does the right thing when possible.
the negative side of things is that we were both too broken to be good partners to the other person. when we met, we were both very lost about our lives. i was ending a chapter in my life that i hadn't yet truly had a chance to heal from. i am still attempting to heal from the other crazy situations in my life. he was and is trying to heal from a loss of identity after school, and a lack of real direction in life. i truly believe that had we met in different parts of our lives - perhaps later on this year, or next year, we would have been able to be the partners the other truly deserved. i grieve the lack of that opportunity.
p has a wonderful soul and i will miss parts of him very deeply. i will miss the silly, lighthearted nature of our relationship. i will miss being able to rant about the eating habits of other people, and about how strange religion is. i will miss talking about the little furball together, and i will miss looking forward to seeing his face every night around 830pm. i will miss the fact that he loved to take care of me, and loved it when i got him a drink of milk every night.
so here's to the end of us, my ex love. there was so much potential for THE ONE (tm) here. it does make me sad that it just wasn't enough.
in theory we should have been great together. we both represented a lot that the other person wanted, but in the end it was our intrinsic differences that caused our love to die. in some very clear ways, we were two sides of the same coin. we shared a lot of things in common and i am thankful that i could meet someone who complimented me in so many ways. in other ways, we helped each other. i believe i helped him be a bit more easy going, and i supported him through his sadness. i made him laugh and gave him good conversations. i think i helped him be more open-minded, and perhaps a bit more open in general.
he helped me by showing me that i am capable of reaching my goals - that i am a strong woman who will not be broken down by what happened to me. he helped me to see the beauty in the quiet life at home, and how important it is for me to share certain qualities with another person. he showed me the value of trying to be a good person who does the right thing when possible.
the negative side of things is that we were both too broken to be good partners to the other person. when we met, we were both very lost about our lives. i was ending a chapter in my life that i hadn't yet truly had a chance to heal from. i am still attempting to heal from the other crazy situations in my life. he was and is trying to heal from a loss of identity after school, and a lack of real direction in life. i truly believe that had we met in different parts of our lives - perhaps later on this year, or next year, we would have been able to be the partners the other truly deserved. i grieve the lack of that opportunity.
p has a wonderful soul and i will miss parts of him very deeply. i will miss the silly, lighthearted nature of our relationship. i will miss being able to rant about the eating habits of other people, and about how strange religion is. i will miss talking about the little furball together, and i will miss looking forward to seeing his face every night around 830pm. i will miss the fact that he loved to take care of me, and loved it when i got him a drink of milk every night.
so here's to the end of us, my ex love. there was so much potential for THE ONE (tm) here. it does make me sad that it just wasn't enough.
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